a little older

i’m turning twenty in ten days. it feels unreal, knowing that these are my last days as a teenager–that college is ending in the blink of an eye.

i watched the new percy jackson show today; the book series was one of the most meaningful during my childhood and my gateway to reading. they were the books i not only enjoyed but obsessed over, my first experience as a fangirl.

watching the lightning thief come to life (again, let’s not talk about the movie) twelve years later was a strange experience. i loved watching it, every scene evoking nostalgia and reminding me of my pre-teen self. watching it as an almost-twenty year old, i felt a sense of bittersweetness. it was a full circle moment, seeing my childhood on screen, but a sad one, wishing that kid-me could have experienced my favorite books on screen back then.

I used to be percy’s age, reading the books and imagining myself being claimed by a god. i was now much, much older, an adult watching a show that reminded me of how youthful I used to be, full of dreams and happiness.

all of this is to say i’m probably experiencing a minor quarter life crisis. i didn’t realize how fast time would pass: that one moment I would be a kid imaging a life as the daughter of a greek god and the next i was an almost college graduate, planning on applying to law school and becoming an attorney.

the time between being eight and twenty years seemed like such an excruciating long one when i was younger. i couldn’t imagine being a teenager, let alone in my twenties. these eleven years couldn’t have gone by faster, and the percy jackson show is just another reminder of how much time has past quickly.

i’m sure the next twelve years will feel slow in the moment, but before i know it i’ll be thirty-two. i want to look back at this post and say with certainty that i made the most out of these next twelve years, enjoying my days and doing things that made me happy. i want to look back and realize how young i was at almost-twenty, knowing there was so many more moments for me to experience.

happy early birthday to me: here’s to another fulfilling twelve years.

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